time certainly do fly, its almost the end of the first week of holidays. Nothing achieved except for finishing our fyp report. CHEERS! And I can forsee myself enjoying the whole of next week too cause next thursday is my birthday and i'm turning 19. So fast. Currently no plans for my birthday yet, just want to keep it simple, lunch/dinner or whatever. Actually I'm just kidding, I love surprises pls surprise me anybody. Even if its just a slice of cake I'll promise to act surprise, really. hahaha

Anw life is so-so now. Not rock bottom nor in high spirits, just normal passing each day like I have to, not happy time still passes, happy time still passes but of course I wanna be happy all the time. And I'm really jealous of ppl who are really happy and who are contented with what they have, not saying they have no problems in life of which I wouldnt know anyway but at least I know they have things that I want that would make me a happy girl.

Sometimes, I'm not sad, I'm more of scared? and the most irritating thing is not knowing what I'm actually afraid of? Sometimes I know and it just bugs me cause i'm just thinking too much and i'm just scaring myself but I cant help it. I'm starting to lose confidence in myself but I'm dont want to be a paranoid shit ass. I really have to overcome this fear I have inside and be the bubbly old me not someone acting strong on the surface but crumbling down like a sandcastle inside. I'm pathetic.