The words always seem to get stuck when I really want them to be heard.

I told you you don't love me and you can't love me. Well no one's forcing you to and you don't have to, all you have to do is admit and tell me, I'll understand.

I'm not trying to change you here, but I'm not getting what I want. I'm not asking for the impossible and I'm not being demanding or unreasonable. I just feel we lack the basic things in a r/s.

Of course I'll be jealous or on my guard if I know someone else is interested in you especially when I have no clue what's going on in your life. If that's what you wanna know and the reason is simple because I love you and I only want you to be mine.
.
But why is our r/s so different? I shouldn't compare but the feelings are just not right. May be to you it is but to me its just weird. I should be able to confide in you, to talk to you about anything under the sky, to want to do everything single thing with you, to be able to tell you my little secrets without being afraid that you'll judge and most importantly to tell you the problems i'm facing.

You say our r/s is comfortable and we being happy is all that matters. But the thing is I don't feel love, I don't feel like I belong to you. I don't feel like I'm special, I'm not exclusive. I feel like I'm just like any other that you text to, have supper with and occasionally feel like being with.

Many times I wish you had your arms around my waist, your hands interlocking mine or your fingers running through my hair. Needless to say I wish to be in your arms, the arms that embrace my tightly and warmly to tell me that I'm safe and no one can take me away from you. Are all these a little too much to expect? In my point of view, I should not even have to be expecting these.



Just disappointed sometimes ....

My mind's really messy and I'm very sleepy right now.
T.B.C